I want to be seen as run-of-the-mill....

There are times when I want to be seen as run-of-the-mill. I don't want to be seen as special, as something less or something more, than others. 

These are the times when I'm barely keeping it together or I'm figuring things out and at times like these, I will lie to you about how I'm feeling and what's on my mind. I will smile as I lie... Maybe even chuckle... 

I will lie, because if I don't, you will look at me differently and like I said, I don't want to be seen as special. 

Somehow, you seeing me as run-of-the-mill, helps me pretend my life is all figured out and well put together... just for a while...